im having a threesome with these popsicles
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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