508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
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