Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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