pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
