I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
