i think i have two assholes
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
