i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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