Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
