Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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