real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Swine flu. Run for my life!
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
