I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
