Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
