I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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