I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
You've changed since you got that strap on
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
