that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
