now i know why i became what i already was.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
