Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Randomize
