i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
