Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
