We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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