Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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