His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
