dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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