yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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