Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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