I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
