her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize