HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
