You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
