i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
