tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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