Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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