I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
