he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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