My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
She announced her abortion via fbk
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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