evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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