you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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