You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
