so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
He better not be in your backpack
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Randomize
