Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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