he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Randomize
