you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
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