I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
