piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
