They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I have already put on my inside pants.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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