its not stalking. its research.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
