She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize