All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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