Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
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