Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize