I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
