You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
