please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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