In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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