No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Randomize
