If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
