everyone is single if you try hard enough
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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